Learning aBroad

A semester overseas is great!  Right?

When I saw these images at Fuskator, I really liked them.  After simply staring at her beautiful body for awhile though, I focused on her using the phone.  And this image in particular, I got the impression that she was looking at someone for approval of what she was saying.

Boom!  That's the story!  He/She's having to call someone and ask permission to continue on with her feminization when she doesn't want that at all.  The person she's looking at is making sure she doesn't say anything about not liking what she's going through.  As I thought about it it became a little more detailed into basically what you see here;  a young man that's been sent for a semester abroad but, unknown to the mother, the school is changing him into a girl and he needs to get permission to stay over for another semester.

Now, when I was first working on this I figured it would be an Obscura as I was going with a three way conversation.  I'd have our feminized young man speaking, his mother speaking, and headMaster Slade speaking.  I tried a few lines of that, but realized quickly that it didn't flow well.  I deleted it and started over with the intent of having Daniel/Danielle speaking and then having his thoughts between lines.... kind of like this:

"Unfortunately no, I can't come home for Christmas break.  I have to pass my oral mid terms first.  "

ORAL!!  I HAVE TO PASS A GOD DAMNED TEST ON GIVING BLOW JOBS!!!

This time I wrote out most of what Daniel/Danielle was going to say before stopping.  I realized it was going to get tedious if I had you read a line of thought after every line if dialoge, especially when I didn't have what 'Mom' was actually saying.  Here's what I had:

Hi Mom.  

No, you were so right.  A semester abroad was a great idea. 

Oh, yes, hooking me up with headmaster Slade was a great idea.  He’s taken a keen interest in me and is making sure I do well in everything.  I’m actually looking at him right now as he even wants me to be polite on the phone. 

Well, yeah, he’s a tough guy to please, but he’s pushing me in all the right directions. 

The uniforms?  Oh, they’re pretty strict on those.  Yeah, we get demerits if our uniforms aren’t perfect. 

Yup, the old-world schooling is really beneficial.  Learning how real men and real girls should act will help me a lot in the future.  

Unfortunately no, I can’t come home for Christmas Break.  I have to pass my oral mid terms first.  

Christmas break?  I’m not sure Mom.  They like to keep the students together for the breaks so that we all form a better team environment.  

Well that’s why Master… er… Headmaster Slade wanted me to call.  He thinks another semester would really benefit me, but he needs your permission.  

So instead of doing it line by line, I thought having what he was saying as one paragraph and then what he was thinking as another paragraph.  What I wrote out for his dialog is, with a few tweaks, what ended up as the text in this cap.  The thought paragraph after was this:

Did she know?  Did mom know that the Slade school for errant boys specialized in feminizing their students?  That everybody here was being made into sweet, loving, adorable, sexy, obedient women?  She didn’t seem surprised by my change in focus.  Maybe she doesn’t… but wouldn’t she get the subtle tone I was using?  With him standing right over me it’s not like I could outright tell her that Gender Studies meant I was being made over as a sex object and has sucked and fucked almost all of the staff here.  I couldn’t exactly tell her that the uniforms were skirts and bras and stockings and chastity cages.  It’s not like I could tell her the discipline was bare bottomed spankings.  It’s not like I could tell her my grooming included long hair, makeup, and nail polish, or that etiquette included dating and bedroom etiquette for girls.  I mean, even my little slip up of calling Master Slade ‘Master’ in the conversation is going to get me over his knee.  But another semester?  

But after writing it, I realized two things.  First, I don't think the story needed it.  I think we could all fill in the blanks of what he was thinking.  Second, if I didn't have the two pargraphs, I could probably fit it into a simple cap layout instead of an Obscura.  

And that's how the story was written.  I obviously broke it up into two paragraphs just so it would fit nicely into the two text boxes, but there weren't any other major edits.  

Design wise, this is a true and tried layout with my newer text boxes.  It's nothing special, but it lets both the photo and story come through cleanly while giving it a bit of that classic Caitlyn tilt.   

Lemme know what you think?  Should have I explored one of the other story writing formats?  Should have I done something different with the layout or design?