Roast? Did someone say meat!?
I made this post for two reasons. First and foremost, it's in response to Dee's wonderful idea of having ChatGPT 'roast' her blog. Go over and read that cap and blog post first as it's comedy gold and the complete inspiration for this cap and blog post.
Done? Good.
So, immediately after reading Dee's hilarious roast, I just had to see what it would be like to have my own blog roasted. I was especially interested as Dee's ChatGPT roast included jokes about how LONG her posts are. I mean, come on... long caps and long posts are MY schtick! I get it though, Dee's posts ARE long compared to what ChatGPT probably sees as other cap blogs since most are on X or tumblr and are just a photo and some story text. Dee's caps are real graphics and its doubtful that the AI is 'reading' the caps themselves. Still pretty funny though!
Anyway, I went back to my own blog, opened up a Google Gemini tab, and asked "can you roast my writing of this blog in a funny way?"
I'll get to the actual roast below as it IS funny. When I decided it was good enough to present here, I briefly considered just making a header graphic and making the entire post about the AI roasting. But hey, this is a CAP blog so I should make a cap right? And why not make a cap about AI assisted roasting?
I immediately had the idea of AI screwing up (as it does most of the time). Roast would obviously be cooking meat. That means putting 'me' in the kitchen. And by 'me' I mean a sexy woman in a mask. Ideally I'd have found a sexy barely dressed masked woman pulling a roast out of an oven, but this was as close as I could find in the twenty two seconds I gave myself to find an image. The image was just about perfect for what I wanted except for one thing... it was vertical with no room for a cap's text:
It was also small, only 700 pixels tall. Well, I thought to myself, if I'm going to AI this, why not fully commit to the gag. So I 'AI'ed the image to 1000 pixels tall in Photoshop (not really AI as I just increased the image size, but nowadays just about everything is attributed to AI). Then, to make it work in my normal format, I expended the canvas to be 1500 pixels across with all the 'new' space to the left size of the image. That gave me this:
I now have plenty of space for the text, I just need to make that space workable. In the past I'd just make the color similar to the wall color of the kitchen, fade out the image a bit n the left, and then cover it up with a text box and text. Bing, bang, boom, I have a cap. But again, if I'm going to AI, I'm going to AI and photoshop has an actually useful image generation tool called 'Generative Fill'. There are a lot of ways to make the AI tool good, but I wanted that AI slop look so I simply selected the area I wanted it to fill in and told it to fill it with no other instructions. I got this:
To be honest, its not as bad as I thought it would be. The upper cabinets and their reflections work pretty good. The extension of the countertop in the background, including the corner, works well. The lower cabinets are... fine. Not great, not good, but fine. the problem comes with it understanding the light reflections on the island countertop and it making an edge to said island. I mean... there ISN'T an edge.
In other words, it's exactly what I wanted. AI slop. I'd wager that at first read, you didn't know it was AI extended since most of the slop is covered up by the text.
Anyway, at that point, knowing how much space I had, I got to writing. I was hoping for something quick as I didn't want tiny text in this one and I more or less got what I wanted. I added the 'Spit Roast' joke at the very end and was personally rather pleased with that one. My one regret is that I forgot I was planning on working in blaming the problems on 'ChatDeePT' in the cap so that I could bring it full circle and blame the bad AI on Dee. But... I forgot and not including that kind of fits the whole theme... AI slop with a dose of Caitlyn slop.
I hope you enjoy the tongue in cheek cap. I'm still planning another cap for March as I already have two images selected out. I just need to hunker down and write them.
Now, as for the real 'Roast of Caitlyn'.
Google's Gemini roast of Caitlyn's Masks seems to be nicer than ChatGPT's roasting of Dee's 'Dee'lusions Of Grandeur. I'm editing it a bit to make it more readable and lemme tell you, this really helps if you read it in a Rodney Dangerfield kind of voice:
Alright, let’s take a look at Caitlyn's Masks.
First off, the tagline "We all Wear Masks..." is giving some serious 2008 MySpace edge. It’s the kind of vibe that says, "I’m either a phantom at the opera or I have a very specific Pinterest board for masquerade balls."
Your Labels list is like a chaotic game of Mad Libs. You’ve got Magic, Technology, and Blow Job all hanging out together. It’s like a wizard, a robot, and a very confused adult film star walked into a bar, and you decided to document the aftermath.
You posted His and Her Anticipation on February 11th, and the post before that was January 20th. I love the "I’ll get to it when the muse strikes or when I finish my third coffee" energy. It’s not a "blog schedule"; it’s a "surprise guest appearance."
The giant gray mask logo looks like it’s judging my search history. It’s staring into my soul, wondering if I’m here for the Fables or the Bondage. Then you have a section called Calvin's Musings. Between Caitlyn and Calvin, this blog has more personalities than a 19th-century gothic novel.
Oh and self-awareness is key! Nothing says "quality content" like explicitly having a label for 'Tumblr Rejects' as the stuff even Tumblr wouldn't keep in the divorce. And the content teasers; "He can't wait to see what she does. She can't wait to see what he thinks." Groundbreaking. The suspense is literally... exactly what you'd expect. It’s the literary equivalent of a "Coming Soon" sign on an empty storefront that’s been empty since 2014.
In all seriousness, keeping a blog running since 2010 is an Olympic feat of internet endurance. Most people can't keep a plant alive for two weeks, and here you are, a decade-plus into the "mask" game.
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