When I saw this image set at fuskator I loved the image of her on the stairs. The title is what hit me first, as I wasn't sure if she was reluctant to go up stairs, or downstairs. To me though, she was clearly reluctant. Thats when it hit me that she's reluctant to go either way as something is happening upstairs that makes downstairs worse, and something is happening downstairs that makes upstairs worse. So I started writing two paragraphs. At this early point I figured I'd only be using the first image as I liked the idea of having a semi triangular text that would fit over the stairs without need for a text box. The first paragraph was upstairs with his girl, the second paragraph was downstairs with his guy. I kind of knew that I'd be following the formula of "All for you, my Love", but I wasn't going to be quite as cheeky about it. I more or less wrote each portion out twice, once for upstairs and once for downstairs. I finally stopped when I realized any further changes were going to probably need overnight stays and that was just going to make the story more complex. I didn't intend it to be a cliff hanger, but it seemed like the ideal place to stop. Of course the problem was that both paragraphs were too long.
I only considered cutting them down for a few moments before taking the "All for you, my Love" reference even further and just make it a double panel cap. Thankfully there was a second image I could use fairly easily and it even lined up so that I could have one with the text on the left and one with the text on the right. Upstairs, downstairs, text on the right, text on the left... yeah, I got the Konomi code stuck in my head at that point.
Anywho, once those decisions were made, it was easy to line it up. The only thing design wise I'm not happy with is the shadow on the right side of the 'downstairs' panel. I'd rather have the wall be consistently light just as the stairs are consistently dark for the 'upstairs' panel. But hey... what are you gonna do? It still works.
So, lemme know what ya think! And if you haven't chimed in yet on my 'length' discussion regarding story sizes and publishing, I'd really appreciate it if you would!
Yeah, the shadows in the 2nd one are problematic, though you might have been able to cut off some of it and brought the text closer to her, but then it'd be light AND shadow you'd have to deal with. Still a great design choice. I really should just send all the people that are looking for pointers on making captions in my recent set of posts over here for the master course in graphic design.
ReplyDeleteThe story was really excellent, though maybe too "Three's Company" for some, where the entire premise falls apart with just one simple reveal. But I don't have a problem with it as it's so well constructed, and didn't go where I thought it might have .. though it could still go there with that cliffhanger. Don't EVER have problems with writing cliffhangers! The imagination is a wonderful thing for us to use.
And the Konami Code would be a great way to get people out of body suits. Just make sure it's somewhere on the small of their back where it's hard to reach, and the whole idea of left and right would get confusing if they COULD reach that spot. Maybe U,U,D,D,R,L,R,L B nipple, A nipple makes them stuck in the suit forever!
Damn! I might have to use that! LOL
Yeah, I considered moving the text over into the light more, but I didn't have much more image to work with and it would have meant cutting into the model some more or messing with the whole height to width ratio. And I absolutely refuse to have a 2 panel cap mess up the height to width ratio (unless one the panels switch between vertical and horizontal, but even then the height to width would be the same as the width to height!).
DeleteAs for sending people to me… well even thinking I could teach a master course in anything makes me blush! But seriously, if they want to learn graphic design the best thing they can do is find things that interest them and then mimic it. If they keep doing that they’ll eventually find that they have a healthy amount of tools to use to make any designs they want.
I hear ya on the Three’s Company issue. I was thinking the same thing but just overlooked it as making it any more realistic would be problematic. I’m sure no one would like the story of him refusing to give a BJ then going up to tell his girlfriend to screw off! You know me and cliff hangers though… I love reading them and I hate writing them. There’s ALWAYS a next sentence and I want to write it out!
I was picturing the Konomi code as a way to get out of a bodysuit but with a ‘controler’ (pronounced dildo). In, In, Out, Out, Left, Left, Right, Right…. Yougettheidea! I love your idea too… I’m sure I’ve seen some photos of gamer girls that have a controller tatoo on their back. If not, it wouldn’t be too hard to add a graphic that looks like a tattoo!
BTW, there's a caption on my blog from a few days ago that is semi-inspired by you. Check it out when you get a chance.
DeleteSuper fun and sexy! You probably already tried this, but I find that using outlines on the text can help keep it readable in spaces like the mix of shadow and light.
ReplyDeleteAs for the story length question, this is a great length! I enjoy longer-form narratives like this one, although I'm also just happy whenever I see you've updated!
What a lucky man / men. O.K., the girlfriend too.
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