Friday, March 8, 2013

Innocent Revenge

Cap Failure

For awhile now, I've been trying to not give up on a cap once I start writing the story.  If when I'm done writing it I'm not happy, I just save it and try to tackle it another day.  This has, for the most part, worked out fine and helped make some rather good caps.

But sadly it doesn't seem to work for all of them.  I've been working on this cap for quite some time now.  I started it back when I owed Smitty a cap, and I thought it would be a fun, funny, sexy, sqirmy cap.  The original idea was simple enough... one of smitty's recently transformed girls comes back and transforms him.  She wouldn't be doing this out of revenge or malice... instead she'd just think that he wanted her to do this since she enjoys her new life so much.

I got to writing and tried to keep it a variation on the dialoge format.  But where 'Jennifer' was speaking, Smitty would be mostly inner thoughts, combined with his muffled distorted words.

I got fairly far and figured I'd end up cutting some of it out... but I couldn't get an ending that I was happy with.   I guess I could have just left it as is... just deciding to stop the story wtihout a climax, but that always strikes me as just lazy.  There should be a real 'end' to the story.  A climax that makes reading it worth while.

So... I saved it and moved on.  I'd come back to it every few days, but still couldn't get it to work.  To hopefully get the juices flowing I went ahead and started working on the design.  It wasn't much, mainly picking out the formatting of the various parts.... Jennifer's words, Smitty's thoughts, and smitty's muffled words.  I laid them out in a slightly 'Kinetic Text' manner and figured I could tweak it later to make it more fun... but the inspiration to finish the story didn't come.  And without knowing how long the story is, I can't keep working on the design.  Even at the size that I have it now, the entire story wouldn't fit this layout.

I gave it one last try last night, but beyond adding some more humerous parts to the story I didn't get any closer to deciding on how to finish it.

So... I'm calling it done.  It's not a cap as the story isn't finished and I'm not even going to bother putting what I have into the design.  I'll just present this here as a partial or 'failed' cap.

Here is the story that I had come up with so far:


Wha... where am I?  What the fuck is going on?

Ahh... you're awake Smitty!  Good, I was getting a little tired of playing with your unconscious body.  You're cute and all, but I want to see the look in your pretty eyes.  I mean after everything you've done for me, I want to make sure that you love this as much as I did.  Here you go baby... you can suckle on my pretty clitty for a bit.  Mmmm... that's it sweetums!

Wait... is that a... NOO!!!  Gha Pha Phng Ou Oov Hmmy Mouff!!!

OOOHH!!! Yes Baby, it feels so good when you hum around me like that.   I just knew that you'd enjoy sucking on me like that.  I mean when you gave me this smooth sexy body you left that in place for a reason right?  You did it so that you could suck on it once I changed you too!

Oh fuck... this is Jennifer!!??  What the hell is she going on about?  I didn't leave her cock in place so that I could suck on it... I left it there so that Jeremy would be humiliated and reminded that she shouldn't fuck around with me ever again!  GEEAAAHHH is that her hand on my.... TIT?

Mmm... you suck harder when I rub on your lovely breast Smitty!  I'm glad you like it... I know I love it when those men you left me with rubbed my breasts.  Well they were a little rougher than me, but I'm going to be gentle with you.  They taught me so many things... I can't wait to show you how much fun it is to get taken from behind!

The men I left her with?  That gang downtown?  Shit they were supposed to keep her as their shemale street walking slut!  I should have sent her down to Mexico... they know how to keep a sissy pet in place!

Just relax your throat baby... that's it... see it slides right in.  Oh is my precious gagging a bit down there... don't worry you'll get used to it.  I think it only took me about two dozen blow jobs before I could do it right.  I'll be right here to make sure you get as good at it as me.   I'm so glad that you left that spell laying around for me.  You just knew that I wouldn't bother with the save and that I'd look right in that cookbook.  It's how I knew you wanted me to do this to you!

Urk Ack Gak GGuurk  So not only did she escape the moron gang I left her with, she broke in to my apartment and looked through my Betty Crocker cook book of spells!?  I knew I should have made her more of a bimbo.   At least she didn't find my mind control spells in the...

And those extra fun ones that you left in your copy of Better Homes and Gardens?  Those are so fun.  Did you know that you followed commands even when you are asleep!?  Go ahead and rub yourself like before...  That's it.. doesn't your pussy feel good!?

Mmmfff Phmmmgheee!!?  No no no... not my BHandG spells!!  Gahh... rubbing myself does feel good... too good.  I can't concentrate.  I gotta get her out of my mouth so I can use her trigger phrase.  

I hope you can get at least a little enjoyment out of what I've done with this.


  1. I definitely understand that process of not being satisfied with a cap. It happens to me more often than I'd like as well and I typically do the same thing where it'll sit on my shelf for awhile. Even some of my published caps I'm not completely satisfied with for one reason or another, but I guess that's the artful aspect of caption making. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't regardless of how it started. Definitely an interesting concept for this cap though!

    1. Thanks Kendall! Normally when I set something back on the shelf, its only a day or two until I can finish it off. I think because it spent so much time rummaging around the back of my head, I can't satisfy my own self with any ending. If this had been a one day project, I would probably have just deleted it, but after all the hours I spent working at it, I figured I owed it to myself to put it out there. At the least to show everyone that not EVERY project works out.

  2. Well, if it means anything, I think the photo suits the story. And I think the story is excellent. So, not being skilled at capping, I cannot say, but I don't understand the problem with finishing. Is it the layout that you are stuck with


    1. Thanks Leeanne! No, the problem isn't with the photo or the layout... I just can't seem to write a way to end the story. At least not in a way that satisfies me. It's entirely in the writing side of the cap that I found trouble.

  3. The same thing has happened to me on more than one occasion. Although unlike you, if I can't get a story the way I want it I tend to scrap the whole thing out of frustration. I know you're not satisfied with the way it turned out, but honestly the "finished" cap you posted works fine as just something quick, fun, and dirty, and there's nothing wrong with that.

    1. Thanks Rauk! If I can't get traction or finish a story in one go my default position is to scrap it. At least it has been. Now a days I look at the story and see if it has potential or if it was just me spinning my mental wheels. If it has potential, I'll save it back and give it a fresh set of eyes at least once. It's rare for me to keep a partial cap like I did this one for so long.

      As for the 'finished' cap... I didn't even think of it as anywhere near finished. I simply stopped adding the text into it when I realized i would need to change what I already had in it (for space conserns). But now that I re-read it... that little bit could easily be turned into a stand alone cap!

  4. You know my opinion .. who cares if its got a beginning or end!

    I think if you kept what you had in the caption itself, but SWITCHED it around where YOU/narrator were the one doing the eating out, it might've given you more to work with.

    I'd keep the beginning and then change from "Here you go baby, Doesn't that feel good the way I move my tongue back and forth over your new clit? DOES THIS feel like a punishment for whatever things I have done to you in the past? Mmm, you are getting SOOOO moist and juicy. Mmmm, that's it sweetums! I like you MUCH better this way!"

    Something like that at least. Then again, I am just using this a little exercise to see what I'd have done with it.

    1. I could certainly see that being a good cap. The photo has a lot of potential for a variety of stories. Since I've taken a swing (well... lots of swings) at it, I couldn't possibly cap it now. I'll always see the story I had in mind and just get frustrated that I couldn't finish it off.

      But hey... if anybody would like to do this, I can upload the original source image.

  5. I liked the over all story you did come up with, but I can see why you might have been frustrated with it over all. It was fun, but seemed to have something missing over all.

    I've had that happen to me dozens of times and I think I still have a few. I usually keep them in case I feel better about it later when I look at it in a new light, or think of a way to fix it. Some of them just never click though.

    This one had a few stand out moments though. I think the Betty crocker spell book sounds like you were channeling Dee a bit, and "The men I left her with? That gang downtown? Shit they were supposed to keep her as their shemale street walking slut! I should have sent her down to Mexico... they know how to keep a sissy pet in place!" sounded like you lifted it right out of a smitty cap.

    To me, it's not a failure, I still enjoyed reading what you had come up with and getting a feeling for what you were going for. And of course reading about someone else struggling with something I often struggle with, is comforting. I know that's not as great as hearing a ton of praise for a story well done, but even one of your unfinished captions is still a good time!

    1. That's it exactly... it was missing something. In this case, it's missing a well defined ending. A lot (most) of my caps have the ending in mind when I start writing so that I can tease at it and drive toward it. But this was just a scene, with no specific ending. Therefore it kind of just flops around.

      As for the Dee and Smitty bits... I was trying to go for a lighter, breezier, funnier tone. Dee would be a source of inspiration in that vein, and smitty does such a great job of being light hearted even within a dark scene... so it makes sense that their echos would be heard.

      I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and I do hope that people who struggle with caps can take some solace from my failed project.