Thursday, September 22, 2016

Where Have You (I) Been?

So much for posting at least once a month

Yeah... sorry about that.

I should just stop making promises, even to myself, because I can't seem to keep them.

So when I made my last Obscura in July I was riding pretty high.  Life was good both as Calvin and as Caitlyn.  I had absolutely no expectation for the bottom to drop out.  But for a lot of different reasons life became hard.  Personally and professionally,  I could lay out a lot of the reasons and I may give more specifics over at my Calvin's Musings blog (where I haven't posted since May (or commented since June), but I'll just say that for most of this time I just wasn't making caps or obscurras.  I was still enjoying my time as Caitlyn but almost all of that energy was directed to playing at DX.

For the past few weeks though even that went away.  I guess I'm just going to have to accept that every few months Caitlyn is going to take a vacation.  Beyond the years I was away I've now lost Caitlyn twice.  Both times for several weeks.  I can't seem to predict when she's going to be here or when she's going to leave.  When she's gone I can't predict when she's coming back.  Hell, if you asked me yesterday if I thought I'd be posting here, let alone making an Obscura, I'd have laughed in your face.  But here we are.... I'm feeling feminine and pretty and all things Caitlyn.  I'm probably going to post over at DX later today and join back into that party.

I won't apologize for leaving and not saying anything.  If you're upset at me for that.... well just know that I'm upset about it too.  When I'm 'gone' I feel like a failure to anybody who stops by here and enjoys either my thoughts or my creations.  When I feel that way it's very difficult for me to even peek my head out from under the covers and say "I'm not feeling it for now, sorry".  I'm also not going to get too deep on why this is happening.  Not here in public, not over at my private blog... not even in my own head.  Life has given me too many gifts as of late for me to ever question the good things that come my way.  And yes, being Caitlyn is a good thing.  Even when she's gone, or I'm not feeling like her, or however I want to describe it... even then I still look at my time as her as a good thing.

So.  I won't say I'm back because who the hell knows when I'll feel like posting or creating again.  But at the very least I wanted to peek out from under the covers and let you know that I'm still here and that I made an obscura.  I hope to see you all again soon.

1 comment:

  1. It's always nice to see new Caitlyn content, but you can't force the ebb and flow. Take care of yourself first of all!