Saturday, March 5, 2011

Oh, But the Fire went Wild

Johnny Cash on the brain.

Please forgive me for the overt use of the song lyrics from "Ring of Fire", but it was just stuck in my head once I saw this suggested pic from Erin on the Haven.

To be honest, I wasn't feeling very 'cappy' the past few days, and I think it shows in the story here, but I just couldn't resist mixing one of my favorite Cash songs with this picture.  I hadn't even been awake for an hour when I came across the image, but just felt compelled to cap it.

So I shoved it into Photoshop, found the exact lyrics to 'Ring of Fire', opened up word and found as many ways to slide them into a magic show as I could.  Oh and transforming Scott into Erin.  My first draft came out fairly smoothly, but was long on details.  And it had a softer Mistress Simone in it (one of Erin's favorite 'Bad Girls').  So I tried something new.  Instead of going through and pruning out details, and shortening down phrases, I opened up a blank sheet, and started over using the first draft as inspiration.  I copied whole phrases and sentences that I thought worked, but I ignored whole pasages as they were just fluff around the story and didn't bring anything to the party.  I definitely like the final version as it just has a better tone and dark feel to it, but I wanted to give you the choice... is the first version better?  Could I cut it down and make it a nice sweet story?

You tell me.  Here is the original draft (please be kind, as I didn't even go over this once, it is raw writing):
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Scott was sick and tired of Ben's BS.  They both joined up with the circus at the same time as a dueling magician act.  Their love for magic was a burning thing, and like the song said, it made a fiery ring.  They each had their own strengths and weaknesses.  Scott designed most of the tricks, while Ben was the natural born showman.  Together they made a wonderful act where they performed tricks in turn, 'one upping' the other.

But their act took too long, and soon the circus demanded that they cut it in half.  It was their choice of splitting the number of tricks each performed, or cutting out one of their acts entirely.  Scott believed that the back and forth action of their tricks was the key and fought for just reducing the number of tricks, while Ben fought for a solo act with Scott as lead designer and assistant.  Their argument soon caught the attention of Mistress Simone, the animal trainer who had the ability to turn Kings of the Jungle into whimpering little pussies. 

Mistress Simone suggested a magic fight. Each would perform their best trick to their best ability, and the one who got the most applause would win, and direct the show how they saw fit.  So in that nights show they performed seperate shows with the sole intent of gaining applause.  Ben ran with one of their best tricks of the floating lady and got thunderous applause, so Scott knew he had to up his game.  His best trick was the Ring of Fire.  He set up a burning ring, and would toss selected objects through it.  The fire would mask their resulting fall through a trap door.  But it never got the same awe of the floating lady.  This time he knew just what to do.  After throwing the last of the balls through, he raised his arms in a flourish and ran toward the ring of fire himself.  At the last moment his foot caught on something and he fell in to the burning ring of fire.  He went down down down, and the flames went higher.

And it burns burns burns. The ring of fire.  The ring of fire. 

Scott woke up with a start.  He thanked the lord that it was all just a dream, but as he crawled out of bed he noticed several things were wrong.  He was in Ben's trailer, but the decor was different.  It almost had a feminine touch.  As he looked around, he noticed his long blonde hair fall into his face.   When he looked into the mirror to see what happened to his hair, he saw a beautiful blond woman staring back. 

Just then Mistress Simone walked in.  When she told Scott to sit down, he did so, even though he really wanted to cover up his new naked body. 

"Scott, I am so sorry.  That spell was supposed to work differently.  I intended on using a spell that would just change the color of the fire to make your trick better, but I used the wrong one.  Instead I cast the spell I use on my lions.  The one that makes them completely submissive to me.  I don't know why it changed you into a woman, or why it didn't bind you to me, but I swear I will try to change you back.  In the meantime you are now Erin.  Ben's assistant. Ben's submissive assistant.  Ben's submissive assistant.... and lover."

Weeks later Erin was assisting Ben in his great Ring of Fire trick.  The crowd loved it, but not nearly as much as Erin loved Ben.  It seems that the song was right.  The taste of love is sweet, when hearts like theirs meet.  And the taste of Ben is sweet, when his cock meets Erin's sweet lips.  Assisting Ben included dressing up in her leather stiletto boots, panties, bra and top coat for the show, and giving him a blowjob behind the stage before each show.  Two shows a night.  Five nights a week. 

2 comments:

  1. You did a great job in editing it down to a manageable level. I think you boiled it down to what it needed to be, yet it is still fleshed out.

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  2. Using ring of fire for a tg story is a great idea! I wouldn't have thought of it, but you pulled it off wonderfully!

    I really liked the circus setting, Mistress Simone and her trained cats. And looks like she did one hell of a job "training" Erin. :D Nice works Caitlyn! ^_^

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