when was your first time??, ya know what the greatest feeling in the world is???, what's your favorite tv show?, where did you come from?, do you like your name?, what do you desire most?
I suddenly feel like I'm being interviewed for the weirdest job. As these are questions that will have quick answers I figure I'll answer them in my two voices. One voice will be mine, the person behind the Caitlyn persona, and the other voice will be pure Caitlyn.
When was your first time??
Me: Well, if you are talking about my first sexual encounter (losing my virginity), I was 15. It was with a girl that I thought I loved, but really with many years of experience to look back through, I didn't love her. I didn't even really like her. I just wanted to have a girlfriend, and I wanted to say that I had sex. Looking back, I really wish I had more wisdom, and hadn't had sex then. Now if you mean the first time I got into TG... Hmm... I remember looking through some porn when I was.... hmm... 16? In the middle of this quite hot set... BAM the woman turned out to have a cock. I was repulsed, disgusted, upset... and intrigued. If I had to point at one single thing, I guess that was it.
Caitlyn: Well I'm just a figment of his imagination, so technically my first time was with the skank when he was 15. But MY first time was really only a few years ago. When he gave me my name, and let me run wild though his imagination. Since then *giggle* I've been kind of a slut. You see each cap, whether its for someone else, or for me, all is experienced BY me. That last one where raffside got a 17 month VR vacation.... yup I spent those 17 months sucking cock and getting pumped full of cum. I got that cock dog bun on the first try in 'Hot Diggity Dog', I was taught how to pole dance, and how to dance on a guy's pole in 'Work that Pole'. So in that way.. my first time was really getting in 'Always Read The Fine Print', back in November of 2010.
ya know what the greatest feeling in the world is???
Me: The Greatest feeling in the world. I'm sure the standard answer would be 'Feeling Loved'. Or to be crass 'Cuming'. But really I think its that virginal moment. I don't neccessarily mean sex. I mean the first time you do something. The fist cap I made felt amazing. The first dirty cap I made felt Amazing. The first time I got someone to gush over one of my caps was amazing. Even in the real world. The first time I drove a car, really loved a woman, had sex, had sex in a meaningful way (as I mentioned before, those were two different occasions), got a job, got a good job, really offered good customer service, helped out someone else when I didn't need to. All of those 'first' times felt amazing. Together they form the greatest feeling in the world.
Caitlyn: Duh.... being pushed down to kneel before a man and having him feed you his cock. That humiliation and terror are glorious!
what's your favorite tv show?
Me: My favorite TV show of all time was the West Wing. I got into it around the second season, and watched it religiously from the third season until its last episode. A few years after its run, I bought the second season on DVD. Then the third season. Eventually I had the entire series on DVD. I have watched all the episodes from the premier to the conclusion on DVD at least 7 times. No other television series comes close to my love of that show. My favorite TV show that is currently running would have to be House. I try to always take the time to watch that. The Chicago Code was getting there, but Fox had to cancel the damn show.
Caitlyn: Skinemax.
where did you come from?
where did you come from?
Me: Um.... my mom? Michigan? I'm not sure what you are looking for here.
Caitlyn: From his sick imagination. Seriously though... I'm an extention of his psyche that allows it to be o.k. to dress up. To be feminine. To fantasize about not just being humiliated, but about enjoying being with a man. Having my breasts fondled, my pussy played with, my ass teased... mmm... getting a little hot now.
do you like your name?
do you like your name?
Me: I do. I wont' share my name with you all... sorry its a bit of privacy that I won't give up. Most of you know 'me' as Calvin, and that's partially true. Calvin is my middle name. Its also been my online name for many many years. Calvin was my great grandfather's name, so I carry his legacy with me. My first name isn't from a family member, but it is something that my parents loved. And I've always liked it. And my last name... well it is a defining characteristic isn't it? It is ME, but it is also FAMILY, TRADITION, VALUES. Put all of those names together, and yes... I LOVE my name.
Caitlyn: Yes and no. I don't know really where the name 'caitlyn' came from. Probably just sounded similar to Calvin. But the first time someone called me Caitlyn, I just melted. It not only was one of those 'first time's that he talked about before, but it just felt right. It wasn't just some femme name... it was MY name. You could call me Vicky, Jenny, Cassandra, Paula, Katherine... anything, and it wouldn't hit me the way that 'Cailtyn' did. The frustrating is that I really don't have a last name. I don't share his last name.... I'm not part of those 'Family Tradition blah blah blah' that he talked about. You could say my last name is 'Masked' but that's more of a description. I'm currently playing a role play at DX where my last name is 'Cockslave' but again, thats more of a description. I imagine that one day I'll be complete enough to have a last name. It won't be a descriptor, it will be a last name that feels right.
what do you desire most?
what do you desire most?
Me: There are many things I desire. To get out of school. To get a good steady career (note, I did not say job... I want a career). To find a girlfriend that really gets me. To get married. To have children (thats fairly new... I havne't wanted children for all that long). But if I had to narrow all of that down to what I desire most, it would have to be 'To be accepted and loved for who I am'. Not just the external me that most people know.... not just the person that my family and friends know and love. But all of me. For someone to know not just me, but Caitlyn. And to accept and love the whole me.
Caitlyn: To live out one of these fantasies in real life. To experience that humiliation and forced femme, and know that it won't end as soon as I have an orgasm.
We get to see the psyche behind the mask for a few questions. Enjoyed the answers as well. You are always so well thought out and in the zone.
ReplyDeleteI'd probably have just been snarky, made bad puns, and just tried to avoid intimacy.
What you said was nice in that it felt like you peeled off one of your many layers.
I like how you answered both questions in Caitlyn and Calvin. For me, I don't have a different show or different likes as Jennifer or Jeremy, But I would have answered the other questions differently from one another.
ReplyDeleteEh, eh, eh and now Calvin and Caitlyn got hot under the radar and forced to come and say yes i'm here you people eh, eh, eh ask me whatever i can come up with whatever and i'll say whatever tee hee "giggle"... no just teasing you, good answers yes...
ReplyDeleteI would say for myself that Alectra as the primary persona comes from the depth of my imagination, my past wouldn't allow me to stick with Paula, bad memories on that one with my female name from Pablo, so no - no just stick to Alectra, in fact it's sexier and you know you like it, don't deny it eh, eh, eh
Hugs and Kisses Alectra
Well written and well thought answers. That is your trademark. Just like Dee mentioned, I'd probably sprinkle a little intimacy but would end up being a sex show in the end.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your "first" answer. You are right. It's all about the experiences.
Did I like reading this? Yes very much. It is honest and pure and worth reading slowly.
ReplyDeleteI applaud your sincerity and candor.
Thank you.
I hope you get everything you want.
Thank you all for the kind comments. I didn't think of this as 'peeling back a layer' any more than my previous 'question' posts have been. That is to say that I will try to answer any and all questions fully. You all know that I tend to go on and on and on sometimes... well when I do that with a question there is an equal chance of me being sentimental, or being funny or snarky.
ReplyDeleteI hope the questions keep coming in... I love the ones that really make me think. I have a great one in the wings right now. I'll probably answer it tomorrow.