Sacrificing For Our Love

What would you give up to feel true love?

I really had no intent of making a cap this morning.  I've been worrying over my job predicament and that really takes me out of feeling like my normal capping self.  But my morning routine now almost always includes me heading over to Fuskator and seeing if anything inspires me.  Well lo and behold I came upon this image set.  There was just something about the looks on the mode's faces that whispered to me... whispered about their love for each other and yet at the same time a little sadness*.

And really it was a hawt set!  So I pulled out this image and got to writing.  I really didn't have any idea where it was going and I didn't intend on this being a deep story.  Just a 'set em up and knock em down' style of story.  But no matter how I tried to make this more humiliating for our heroine, it just kept coming out more sweet and soulful.  I let the story go where it wanted.

If I knew how the story was going to turn out, I might have made it a multi panel cap so that I could tell a longer story.  Maybe focus on the denial of their pleasures more in one panel, focus on their coming to love each other in another panel, and cap it off with them making the sacrifice to ensure they'd stay together.  But like most projects when I was finished writing I had no desire to re-write it.  So we'll all just have to imagine what I could do with three times the story length.

*Speaking of sadness, I came across this Green Day song recently and have been playing it a lot.  The lyrics don't mean much to me, but the overall somber nature of the piano and the soulful nature of Billie Joe's singing have really stuck with me.

To me it really represents how I feel most of the time now.  Getting turned down for a job that I both wanted and feel like I had a good interview for was hard.  And getting ramped up to apply for a job that wasn't even in the field of nursing only to get turned down less than 24 hours after applying (and then having the same thing happen again for a lesser position) was even harder on my more and more fragile ego.

I'm still applying to nursing jobs, but I have a hollow feeling that it's all going to be fruitless.  That even if I get an interview (which the past has shown me is doubtful) and feel like I do well at it, that it still won't lead to a job.  To apply to those other jobs outside the field of nursing meant that I had to turn my back, at least a little bit, on the certainty of getting a nursing job.  And not getting those jobs didn't change me back... I now have a sad feeling that I won't get a nursing job.

I know I've talked about this before.  And really... I've read your comments and will try to keep my chin up. But right now... right here... I just can't feel that optimistic.  It's already made it harder to cap and I don't see that changing.  I'll still do it... I'll still take what solace I can from putting on my Caitlyn mask.  But don't expect a lot from me for awhile.