I like the story I wrote for this, but it seems to be just a little long for the cap. I didn't see anything that I wanted to get rid of though, as a lot of the intro was to set up the emotional impact of the ending. But all that text takes up a lot of space. I don't mind covering up the empty spots in the picture, but to make it even I had to make the title rather large. And I end up with a very small 'picture'.
I think is perfectly fine for the story...
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion is that part where you set up the second paragraph is quite long to what you really want to express there.
I would go with Eddie putting directly on the bodysuit and sit back and enjoy the action my mind would ask me to write *giggle*
Ouh and a mistress never tells sorry! She just do whatever she wants, so that part could be avoided... There you go a much thinner story with all the right elements set to enjoy! *giggle*
With all said I really enjoyed that story and wouldn't mind ending in that situation... if the actual mistress doesn't leave me there to the desires of an unknown man! *giggle*
Hugs and Kisses Alectra
Its interesting in the way our minds think, which probably is why we write captions the way we do.
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw most of the 1st paragraph, I thought "Ohh, what a great way for her to win. Trap her husband in the body suit, and then she can have both a female sub husband to play with, AND she can be happy with Eddie! A good man gets to win, and they can both humiliate and break the husband."
You went almost exactly the opposite. I enjoyed reading it your way, as honestly I never even thought about doing it another way. aka Caitlyn style! I really need to get myself more in that mindspace occasionally or I might end up getting stale in my captions.
Loved the set up, it really made the ending stand out to me. I'm not sure if I would have gotten rid of anything, I'm sure I would have done something different, but everything in the cap fit's the sort of stuff I look for and try to do. Wether of not I succed is another matter. *giggle*
ReplyDeleteI can even see why you feel like you could trim some of it, but it all seems to play a part in the story. even if t feels like you could trim something here and there. Maybe if there was another picture to work with, or something that fit the story to make it a 2 parter, but often you count your blessings you found a pic like this at all, and came up with any idea to cap.
I enjoyed it quite a bit, I'm glad you didn't cut anything from it. I might feel he same way about the story, but, in the end I still wouldn't have cut anything.
Caitlyn,
ReplyDeleteYour story was lovely and unexpected.
I try not to critique much... The hardest thing for me, doing a story like this, is to decide exactly how much detail to go into.
I have made more than one cap with text as lengthy as this, and it's always a struggle. Captions, by design, are supposed to be snack-sized. Every once in a while, you need to flesh it out more.
I think this is one of those times. Could it have been a little shorter? Sure... Would that have made it BETTER? I don't think so.
Lovely effort, and thanks for sharing it with us!
Oh, and the piccie was an inspired choice.. scrumptious!
/hugs