Sunday, July 15, 2012

[Question] When did you first become interested in the TG scene...?

Ahh... now that's a story

When did you first become interested in the TG scene, and have you ever created a TG series using TG images? Also,are you a brunette? I ask because I love them, they're so sensuous and sultry.

This is a question sent in by Mr. Mystery. As Mr. Mystery asks several questions, I'll take them each in turn. First up:

When did you first become interested in the TG scene?

Before I answer, I should define how I'm reading 'TG scene'.  To me the TG scene is either a general interest in all things trans gendered, or the TG capping scene in particular.  I define it that way as I've never ventured into the Real Life TG scene.  

I've covered some of this in my 'Behind The Mask' page, but I'll eleborate on that a little more.  I mentioned that my first experience seeing anything TG related was on a BBS.  I viewed a set of images that included a man making out with what turned out to be a beautiful shemale.  My first reaction was a strong 'Ew'... but I didn't log out or stop looking.  That was way back in high school (so in the late 80s or early 90s).  

I think my 'Ew' reaction was more of my innocense showing.  I had only recently started looking at playboys and was still finding out what I was attracted to.  Most of my sexual appetites were heavily influenced by popular culture and my clique of friends.  So when I saw something that wasn't a man/woman pairing, it had to be the dreaded G word.  Gay.  I'm most of you remember highschool and how constricting beliefs can be there.   I'm from a fairly small town so if there were any homosexual people in my class, they kept it to themselves.  It was not a very open place, so Gay = Bad.  

Thankfully at that time I was already showing an interest in things that went beyond what my classmates determined to be cool or good.  So while my initial reaction wasn't a good one, I was open to exploring it more.   Sadly this was before the internet was really around and therefore my search for more of this material was very limited.  

I think it was around 1994 when I moved away to college that I found the internet.  I'm not sure what my sources were, but I found several stories sexually explicit stories that involved TG.  I believe they were the very first sexually explicit stories that I saved onto my had drive.  But just because I was turned on and interested in this material didn't mean I was happy with it.  I figured it was a 'dark side' to me.  A 'wrong side'.  But even as I thought of it as 'dark' and 'wrong' I still explored TG material (and in addition to TG I was also exploring subjects like D/s relationship, bondage and discipline, and Sadomasochism.  

Over the next few years I explored more and more of the internet and eventually found fictionmania, where I read so much more.   My interest in D/x, B/D, and S/M slowly faded, but TG remained very close to my heart. I wish I could say I accepted it fully, but there was a very long period where I fought against my own desires. 

Later on would come viewing caps, which lead me to Rachel's Haven, which lead me to making caps, which lead me to fully accept a desire for TG into my life and not feel bad about it. That's when 'Caitlyn' was born.  

So you could say I first become interested in the TG scene in the late 80s, or the mid 90s, or the late 90s, or not until almost a decade into the 21st century. 

Have you ever created a TG series using TG images?

I'm not quite sure to answer that, as it seems everyone has their own way of defining what is and isn't a TG image. If you include 'shemale' pictures, then yes. I have two caps that include photos of shemales and another that has a drawing of one.

Me personally, when I think of TG images, I think of someone honestly going through a transition. Sadly there aren't many profesional images of people like this. There are plenty of 'snapshot' style photos, but I don't like using that type of photography in my caps.

So my personal version of an answer would have to be no. No I haven't created a TG series or cap using TG Images. It's not that I'm opposed to it, just that I haven't found the right image to use.

Are you a brunette?

Well.. keep in mind that you are really asking these questions of two people. Calvin and Caitlyn. For most of the day, I'm Calvin. I DO have brunette hair, but I don't think it is sensuous or sultry in any way. It's often cut short, and I don't take particularly good care of it. So once it gets more than about an inch in length, its off to the barber (where I'm seeing more and more gray hair along with the dull brow hair that falls into my gown covered lap!)

Now Caitlyn... she's an entirely different story.  I have an image in my head of what she looks like.  Sadly, that image only exists in my head, but I'll try to share it here (and by the way... I haven't fully shared this before even amongst friends).  

She is fairly tall for a woman (I'm terrible at guessing heights, but I'd say she is around 5 foot 8).  She is fairly fit, but not skinny by any means.  She has smallish B cup breasts, and fairly wide hips that make her waist looks smaller than it really is.  Her tush isn't as curvy as you'd expect with such wide hips.  Her most distinguising feature is her legs though... they are long, fit, and curvy narrowing down into delictate ankles and feet.  Her arms seem short for her body but still end in delicately small hands.  

I'm terrible at describing faces, so I'll just say that she is more 'cute' than 'sexy' or 'beautiful'.  Her lips aren't particularly full, but they do form a cute cupids bow.  Her green eyes are bright and very expressive.  She has very light freckles that are easily concealed with makeup.  Her hair comes down just pas her shoulders.  It's naturally curly, but she'll often work hard to keep it straight.  Technically her hair is red, but it's the more natural red color and not the over saturated bright red that we so often see on models.   She'll often color it to be that brighter more saturated red, but she's careful not to go into the sexy fantasy realm of color.  Just a nice bright red.  

So... the direct answer is both yes and no.  I assume you are asking more of what Caitlyn's hair is, so that answer would be no.  

I'll say this about my internal vision of Caitlyn.  It isn't what I expected.  When I started letting Caitlyn take more form that just a femme name that I post under, I always assumed she would be a woman that I found perfectly sexy.  An hourglass figure, C or even D cup breasts, A J-Lo ass, thick full lips and a face that dripped sex appeal.  But that just isn't Caitlyn to me.  Shes... for lack of a better term... normal.  She has flaws in her body that she isn't proud of, and while she isn't unattractive, she has to work very hard to make her self look sexy.  

I guess that means that Caitlyn is becoming more and more real to me.  I wish I was in a 'Caitlyn' state of mind and could write from her perspective, but like many Sunday's I'm tired.  And when I'm tired Caitlyn is off somewhere else.  I assume she's taking the nap that I want to take.  


  1. Its great to see that as time has gone on, you've fleshed out Caitlyn more and more, until you have a good idea of what she is and what she's about, with insecurities and flaws intact.

    The reason I say this is that when i first started doing captions, a few were returned to me where I was like, "Dee is a female me and I don't think I'd ever do that!" which is why I created Deedee (or Dee Dee) and it creates that disconnect I needed to cope with things assigned to my persona that didn't fit my understanding of her.

    On rare occasions, mostly when drunk or on meds, I can 'feel' like Dee Dee for a bit. Its easy to be 'Dee' because its a slightly idealized version of myself.

    How often are you able to enter the "Caitlyn Zone" and how long are you able to stay there once you achieve it?

    1. I'd say I can get into my 'Caitlyn Zone' several times a day. Most day's I visit with her when I log in here and start my 'TG' activities. Visiting blogs, visiting the Haven, playing at DX, and capping.

      When I step away from the computer for an extended period she fades back into the background. About the only time I have trouble calling her up is when I'm tired. She just doesn't exist at that time.

  2. Thanks for sharing!
    Now if only surrogate naps could be as satisfying.

  3. Well, I've been into the TG scene since before there was a TG scene. At least that was connected by the internet. Started my panty fascination when I was but a confused teen.

    My caps can be found at

    I have been a brunette. Though my alter-ego is a redhead.

    1. There's just something special about those redheads, isn't there? I guess because the color is really rare, and the full saturated redheads are even more rare.

      Thanks for the link to your blog. After a quick view, I'm sure I'll be back to read them in more detail!

  4. Myself, I've been into the "TG scene" for about about.... too damn long to publicly admit. Longer than many of your readers have been breathing :)

    I've been an "active" member of the TG Caption "scene" since 2005, off and on...

    If it matters, I am truly a natural, full blue-eyed redhead, as is my "alter", complete with freckles :)


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