Saturday, December 15, 2012

The Lifestyle makes the Woman

And what a woman this lifestyle makes!

I have to admit that while this cap was made strictly for Jeannie at the Haven, it was also another attempt to make a cap when I wasn't feeling very much like Caitlyn.  While I've had varying levels of success at this before... I don't think this one came across all that well.

When I read through Jeannie's preferences, I really latched on to her desire to be part of a government program.  I mean lets face it... if a government thought it was possible to easily make a man into a woman they would go for it... right?  And if they worked on it, they'd have to experiment with all the variables like making a person comfortable in their new body.

So when I spotted this image, my mind immediately thought of something I read in some textbook or another (or maybe it was just some random website)... that if almost everything changes in a person's life, they tend to react better to it as opposed to accepting a single change.

I started writing up the cap this morning and the story seemed to flow easily enough... but just as I was finishing up the last paragraph, I got a massive headache.  Bad enough that I couldn't concentrate on the cap at all.  So I saved the work and only got back to it a little bit ago.   And reading it over now... well... it feels a little flat.  I know some of that is because it's for the most part a clean cap (since I do mention her experiencing the new feminine pleasures with both men and women, I didn't think it was clean enough to label as 'Clean').  But as Jeannie lists her desire toward ratings as '...not TOO graphic', I didn't want to go running over the line and make it too smutty.

It might be that I wrote it from a more technical third person perspective   The voice I used for the narrator is similar to 'The Technologist', but I took out a lot of the superiority and over flowery vocabulary.  The image is certainly sexy... but I don't know... the story is just kinda dull.  Maybe it's just too much set up and not enough 'meat'.   I do spend two and a half paragraphs setting it up.

I just don't know.   If you agree and think that it's lacking something, I'd really love to hear why.  Don't worry about insulting me or pissing me off as I'm already not happy with it.

5 comments:

  1. Caitlyn,

    YOu really are a bit of a mischievous little minx. Getting poor Jeannie all used to the finer things in life only to turn her over to a pimp to become a common whore. But who knows, maybe she'll end up liking it. Probably get a lot of big black cock. Not an all bad outcome.

    Kiss kiss,

    Leeanne

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  2. Caitlyn, I think it's very good. If anything, I'd say maybe the ending twist feels a little short or abrupt but I tend to be biased towards happier endings.

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  4. Flows great until the last paragraph where it seems to come to a sudden conclusion, the rest of it is drawn but the acceptance seems to happen in almost exlcusively in that last section.

    Otherwise it's great - I think the idea of 'lifestyle makes the woman' could be a new type of caption style. :)

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  5. Nice work, Caitlyn. I often enjoy your captions and I definitely appreciate the effort you take to make the text read and flow nicely. Too many TG captioners skimp on that and you never have. Thank you for that.

    Amanda Hawkins

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