Fixer Upper

Any project worth doing...

Jerry bought the house knowing that it was a fixer upper.  It needed new siding, a new roof, paint just about everywhere, new flooring, new fixtures… it needed work just about everywhere.   But Jerry was patient and liked to work with his hands.   The only problem was that every time he went shopping for supplies he got something else… something for him.

His trip to the lumber yard turned into a trip to the vitamin store and pharmacy.  The vitamins he kind of understood as with the low cal diet he quickly started to drop weight.  But he didn’t remember being prescribed hormones and testosterone blockers.  With every pound he lost, he seemed to be losing definition and getting shapelier curves.  His trip to get new siding turned into a trip to a boutique where he bought a bunch of lingerie and women’s clothing.  When tried to shake off this feeling changing himself and refocused on the house he went out to get some paint but ended up at a MAC store and spent hundreds of dollars on cosmetics.  Trying to shop for roofing material got him an appointment at a salon and his hair colored a deep orangey red.  He didn’t remember his hair being this long before, but it looked damn good.  The time he went out to get some new carpet ended up with him getting a Brazilian wax... the fact that he no longer had male genetaila surprised, but pleased him. 

Six months later and the house is still in disrepair, but Jenny thinks it will be just fine.  After all now that her little fixer upper body project was finished she could now go out and find a nice big strong man that could do some work on the house.

source:  fuskator 




And to Ian's wonderful comment: