The story has great potential. A makeover and a threesome? But beyond mentioning it was Marcus' fantasy to have a makeover, I didn't go into any detail about how he felt. Reading between the lines it can go either way... he loves the makeover, but doesn't want a threesome with another man. He loves the makeover and loves the threesome. He loves the makeover and is forced into the threesome. Rob knows that Sue Anne is a man, or he doesn't know.
All of these variations are possible, and give the story an entirely different feel. I look at the details, and find it lacking. 40 or so words to describe a perfect makeover? When comparing this to the cap I made previously "The Bet" there just isn't much there. No inner thoughts, not much action, and no description of the action beyond 'it happened'. Right now I can't figure out why I didn't write more. This would be near to one of my own fantasies, so you would think I could gush about it. Dee talked about (on her blog) talked about going back and re-doing some old caps. I think if I were going to redo a cap, this would be it. There is just to much delicious details left out. It would most certainly be a multi page cap.
Design wise it is acceptable. Not great but as good as my more recent caps.
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