The idea was this: A high school boyfriend and girlfriend (call them Calvin and Gina for now) go to different colleges. Calvin goes to a standard state university, while Gina goes to an all girl private college. This private college is very old fashioned and doesn't allow boys anywhere near the dorms, and girls aren't allowed off campus while school is in session. Calvin and Gina decide to sneak him in dressed up as her one of her hometown girlfriends (I figured a nice subplot would be him dressing up for a high school play and being good enough to pass).
It works, and he's able to sneak in and visit her on weekends when her room mate is gone. But one weekend, the roommate (call her Vicky for now) comes back to find them making out (with him still fully dressed). Vicky is jealous, as she has a crush on Gina herself and believes that Calvin really is a girl. She plays nice to Gina saying she won't tell anyone that Gina has a girlfriend, but secretly wants to sour their relationship. In private she harasses 'Caitlyn' and tries to make 'her' life a living hell, hoping that Caitlyn will leave Gina alone. Sometime later she finds out Caitlyn's secret and threatens to tell the school (which will of course humiliate Calvin and ruin Gina). Calvin of course agrees to do as Vicky says to keep the secret for anyone else, while Gina convinces him to keep up the act of being a girl to 'fool' Vicky.
Vicky proposes that they all get some boys to go out with to make sure no one suspects that Caitlyn and Gina are lesbians. Gina thinks its a good idea while Calvin has to remain mum about his worries. Vicky sets them up with three guys that Calvin knows from his own school, and sets in to humiliate Calvin enough so that he won't come back. She does this by telling the boy she set him up with that 'Caitlyn' is a little slut.
While all of this is going on, a teacher at the school sees Caitlyn enough that she tries to get him to come and enroll at the school, and one of Gina's friends starts to get a crush on Caitlyn.
All of these scenarios start folding in on one another, as Calvin has to be a different person to nearly everyone. He is Gina's boyfriend acting like a girl to get in to see her, but he also has to act as Vicky tells him to (slutty), while trying to keep the boy (who he isn't attracted to, but Vicky keeps them close) from finding out that he is a guy, while trying to keep the girl (who he is attracted to) from finding out that he is a guy, while trying to keep the teacher (who is looking into Caitlyn to get her to enroll) from finding out that he is a guy..... so on and so forth. Sometimes he has to act like a regular girl (to the teacher), sometimes like a heterosexual girl (to the girl interested in him), sometimes like a lesbian (to his guy friend and date), all the while Gina and Vicky are pulling his strings for very different reasons.
I just kept imagining all the lies working against each other and digging him further and further into a hole that he can't get out of.
I still may write that story out (I've been thinking of it for years), but I'm sure you can see how I didn't think it would make a good cap. Its just far to complex, and has far to many characters. But this morning the urge to cap was strong, and I had that story idea banging around.
I thought maybe if I could draw it down to a simple portion of the story, that I could make a cap. You can see the basic premise in the beginning. Not wanting to add in more characters though, I just made 'Gina' more mean that she would be in the story so that she could be the person forcing Caitlyn. I liked the direction and found this image... but the guy is wearing a suit. He obviously isn't a college buddy of Calvin's, so that extra set of lies didn't work. Instead I made him into a teacher.
I wrote most of the story, but the ended it with him getting this 'photo' to prove he was a hetero girl. It was good, but it lacked a 'zing' at the end. After a few minutes, I thought that the original concept of multiple people pulling his strings could work, and wrote the part in of Mr Jennings forcing him to remain a girl and his girlfriend for longer. It's not the layer upon layer of lies and deceit I have in my 'story' idea, but it is more than just a girlfriend forcing him to dress up and blow a guy.
I've talked before about how I make a cap from a much larger idea, and therefore I only see what's missing. Like those times, I'm not sure how this one will go over. All I see is a hint of what I want to tell, so I'll rely on you to tell me if this works.
It's interesting what you say, as a caption writer myself I have the same problem. Big massive ideas in my head often have to be scaled down to go into the captions. But then, you'd expect the writer to have a larger story/concept in their head anyway. The art of caption writing lies in distilling it into a readable format, transmitting the idea in as minimal a form as possible.
ReplyDeleteIn this respect I think you did a great job. The caption has a lot inference which gets over your ideas nicely and it's smoking hot.
Great work!
I wish I had big massive ideas in my head! My brain usually thinks in terms of the "bottom line" and automatically eliminates most extraneous thoughts LOL
DeleteOccasionally I'll have to whittle down a few paragraphs, but best case scenario is that I can fill up the text box I've created. There have been many times where I'll have to actually elaborate with some flowery adjectives to pad out the caption and not leave some gaping empty spaces.
The caption seems fine on its own, and doesn't seem lacking in any way after the streamlining. Actually,it doesn't seem much like the original "story" that you had in your head, and is more of a stand alone story.
ReplyDeleteAnd that IS an intricate plot you've got worked out there. I think it'd probably make a wonderful multi-part story. Might take you a LONG time to get it all worked out, though if its been in the noggin long enough, you've probably got it all fleshed out!
I love the setting/ideas you describe and if you ever do write a story on that I hope it finds its way to me :)
ReplyDeleteI looked at the caption before reading the post and I think it works great.
I think the caption works very well as it is. Definitely an intricate and titilating situation! Poor Calvin must be so confused from the dominant people in his life, he doesn't realize that missing classes all semester will cause him to lose his scholarships anyway.
ReplyDeleteI really like the original idea you had. It sounds like it would work wonderfully for a tv series. Definitely a daunting web of intrigue to try and express through captions.