Truth Vs Facts

Learn the difference!

What can I say… I was drunk.  Me and the guys decided to take a walk on the wrong side of the tracks and have some fun with the common folk.  Between the money we were flashing and the liquid bravado we were drinking I felt comfortable criticizing and correcting everybody.  When I asked for the best cognac available I laughed at the bartender as he pulled out a Hennessy VS and said it was ‘Very Special’ and therefore the best.   I had to correct a lady when she tried to brag about her stilettos and explain that a stiletto was a thin tapering heel while she in fact was wearing chunky heeled shoes. 

The best was the tattooed freak.  He was some kind of tattoo artist and took special umbrage when I corrected him on several tattoo myths.  I had to explain that red tattoo ink didn’t in fact fade faster than other colors, that a medical grade autoclave is better than boiling tattoo equipment for sterilization, and that drinking before getting a tattoo can cause more pain afterward instead of easing it.   When it came to facts he wasn’t happy but he accepted my obvious superior intellect.  But when I ventured into opinion territory and told him that women shouldn’t ever get tattoos because it never looked good and just proved they were either a skank, a slut, or a whore… well I should have stuck to facts. 

It seems his girlfriend is a witch and threw a curse on me.  She made me into a woman and told me I’d stay that way until I could accept a broader truth that goes beyond facts. 

I’ll admit after a month of wearing nothing but stilettos, I will freely wear chunky heels instead and still call them stilettos because it just sounds better.  I’m still working on the tattoos, but I’m almost ready to accept that they can look on a girl.  I don’t know if it matters anymore as I’ve become quite the slut in the meantime. 

Oh… and Hennessy VS still isn’t as good as Napoleon or Imperial… but it ain’t half bad!

source:  Past the Shallows, Come Find Me