Saturday, December 11, 2010

SWAT Whore (short)

An experiment:  Short and Sweet Vs Long and Detailed

This is the short version of my original SWAT Whore (posted here as "SWAT Whore (long)").  You can read up about how I came to make the original there.

For this shorter version I wanted to pare the story down to its basic components.  Since I already had all of original Photoshop files, I could just copy out the background, title, and any of the images I wanted for this shorter version.  The hard part was that the images were cropped as is (if it flowed off of the cap, then it was cropped just like that).  This means that if I used the image in the upper right hand corner, I would have to use it there again.  Sadly I didn't save the raw images, so I couldn't crop them to fit this new format better.

It didn't impact the story to much as I would only have room for one or two of the images anyway.  The images would be used to fill out some of the details lost in this shorter version, instead of accompanying those details IN the story.

Anyway... writing was harder than I thought.  As I said in the previous post, I really liked the story.  So for me personally I was taking out needed details.  But I stayed on course and cut out anything that couldn't be described in a sentence, or just a few words.  As you can see, the basic plot is the same.  Tough Guy, body suit shorted out, used by perps, stuck in suit.

My only real problem with this shorter version is the layout.  Limited to the cropping of the photos, I feel that they are out of order (although that last image can now be seen as Candy in the locker room!).  I worked a little to quickly (I didn't want to give myself time to put details back in), and left myself with that annoying blank space between the blocks of text.

Obviously, I like the longer version better.  But I didn't create shortened version for me, or even for Candy.  I created it to get an idea of which version everyone here likes better.  If I get an overwhelming preference to this shortened version, I will apply that lesson to future caps.

So this will be one of the few times I really ask for comments.  Please let me know which you like better.  If you are feeling up to it, let me know WHY you like it better.

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