The Grand Plan

Details are important!

No Jenkins, keep licking.  I’ll see if I can work this out.  So you thought that I was afraid of your quick ascension in my company.  That I saw you as some kind of threat to my position.  And you thought that I was going to use magic to change you into a woman.  In fact you assumed I was going to change you into some air headed bimbo that would serve as my secretary.  And with your sexist mind you thought I was going to have you be merely eye candy and that you’d be serving me sexually at every opportunity.  With that in mind you searched the world for two months and found a magical spell to change me into a woman.  Your plan was to change me into a woman, take my position, and finally re-hire me as your own over sexualized secretary. 

Let’s take this piece by piece.  I wasn’t afraid of your quick ascension.  In fact I was the personally responsible for all of your promotions.  Your creativity was an asset to this company and I wanted you to work in each department so you’d see how the whole operation worked.  How could I possibly see you as a threat?  This is a private company owned wholly by me and my family.  You couldn’t ‘take’ my position from me.  And even if I did find you a threat, why would I go through some evil maniacal plan of changing you into a woman?  I have a beautiful wife who loves me and a personal assistant that runs my office like a Swiss watch.  Putting you in that position would destroy my marriage and reduce the effectiveness of this company.  And if I was so worried about you and planning revenge, why would I approve a two month hiatus?  A paid hiatus! 

So you found magic in the world.  Congratulations.  But your follow through really seems to be lacking here.  You changed me into a woman.  But with magic that seems to be all powerful you stopped there…. You didn’t make me addicted to sex, or reduce my intelligence, or in any way make me subservient to you.  In fact your spell just changed the world’s perception of me.  Looking into my own past I see a little girl growing up in Iowa and quickly building up her own fortune 500 company.  My wife and I got married in Massachusetts back in 2005 as a same sex couple. 

So… you changed my gender.  That seems to be about the only thing you changed.  I applaud the commitment to your plan and the creativity of your endeavor, but I have to tell you that your implementation is sorely lacking.  So to teach you a lesson I’m going to assign you as an assistant.  No, not to me.  I told you I already have a wonderful personal assistant.  No, you’ll be her assistant.  Your underlying task will be to demonstrate how you can better respect women in the work space. 

What?  Licking me out?  Oh, no this won’t be part of your daily activities.  I was just curious if you had any skill at it.  After all you intended me to be kneeling between your legs but gave me no skills to speak of.  You don’t.  You are terrible at cunnilingus.   In fact, you can go ahead and stop.  I’m going to take a personal day and visit my lovely wife.  Now she’s an expert at orally pleasing a woman!

source: fuskator